A few days back my friend divorced her husband as she caught him cheating with her. We all are interested to know such stories & the reason behind them. What has happened? How did it happen? Everyone wants to know the reason behind that. So, here’s the full story of their relationship & the reason behind it.
Six months back Prita called me and shared her doubt that her husband is cheating on her. I asked her how she knew. And she started sobbing. She said that I saw a chat message on my husband’s phone. He was talking about his extramarital affair with another girl. At that time I advised her to give him some space & just notice his changes & behavior at home.
And some days before Prita dropped a message to me that we got divorced. I suddenly started thinking about how such infidelity happens after marriage?
Such a relationship is called a polyamorous relationship. A person is committed to a polyamorous if he is not satisfied with his partner else he may be a swinger.
Let us have a look at relationship status.
Polyamorous Relationship
A polyamorous relationship is a practice of having sexual & emotional relationships with partners other than a spouse. The polyamorous relationship may be consensual or not. The consensual polyamorous relationship is a relationship with the consent of all involved. The polyamorous relationship is also defined as non-monogamous.
What happens in a polyamorous relationship? A polyamorous people generally focus on knowing what their needs are. And they try to fulfill their needs. A polyamorous relationship may be emotional or may not be.
Monogamous Relationship
A Monogamous relationship is a relationship committed with only one partner, rather than multiple partners. Most of the time a monogamous relationship is sexual and emotional. In monogamy, partners are usually loyal to each other.
The relationship status also depends on knowing each other’s desires. If your partner’s desires are fulfilled by you he will be completely sticking to you. Sometimes, in monogamous relationship sexual desires doesn’t matter. They stick to a single person because both are emotionally involved.
Human history of a Monogamous and Polyamorous Relationship
In 2011, The New York Times indicated that in early times humans began shifting towards monogamy about 3.5 million years ago though the species never evolved to be 100% monogamous. Humans avoided polyamorous relationships because of their social conscience.
Also, in early ages males were shifted towards monogamy just to protect & nurture their children. As monogamous relationships resulted in higher rates of survival & increased nourishment of their child. It also had an impact on human brain development.
Monogamous Relationship Vs Polyamorous Relationship
- A person who is in a monogamous relationship tends to value their romantic partner above everyone else.
- Some monogamous people think that being in a polyamorous relationship is very painful & exhausting. And it would be worse if the front secondary partner is more serious about the relationship. The monogamous people think polyamory as cheating.
- But interpretations about relationships are changing from person to person.
- Polyamorous people think that it is natural & free of restrictions. Some people think that it is inherent & it is suitable for their lifestyle.
- We are also getting some comments from polyamorous people that love is infinite but time isn’t.
- Some celebrities also confessed about their life choices & started sharing their views about polyamory; that it’s all about accepting your feelings and acting on them with respect and trust.
- People in consensual polyamory are having open relationships & are not defined as cheating.
- However, if we think about the consequences of a polyamorous relationship, there are many negative sides. Polyamory is not accepted in the culture of some countries.
Despite some people hiding them from friends & family often they are concerned about losing their jobs, not getting a job, losing family or friends who won’t respect them anymore. Or also afraid that their kids will be taken away.
- Polyamorous people are having multiple sexual partners & each partner is having different choices which can increase the risk of the spread of STIs like HIV, HPV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Genital Herpes, etc. The risk can go to the extent of death. And can be avoided by using a condom. For more details about STIs & STDs visit https://www.cupidlimited.com/blog/the-ultimate-guide-to-sexually-transmitted-diseases/
- Some couples turn to polyamory for the wrong reasons, thinking to bring excitement & pleasure in their life. However, the same excitement can be brought in a monogamous relationship also. By building a successful monogamous relationship. This also prevents the risk of the spread of STIs.
Which one is prevalent Monogamous or Polyamorous Relationship?
Monogamous marriage has been started in Europe, and then more recently across the globe. Now, monogamous marriages are widespread across the world. Monogamy reduces crime rates including rape, murder, assault, robbery and fraud, and personal abuses. It also decreases the spousal age gap, fertility concern, and gender inequality. Men are also diverting towards monogamy as it increases savings, child investment, and economic productivity.
By increasing the understanding within households, monogamy reduces intra-household conflict too. These estimates are tested using converging lines of evidence from across the human sciences. In ancient times, men were engaged in polygyny i.e. men were having multiple wives. Some kings were having 100’s of wives & concubines. In some religions such as the Muslim religion, polygamy is still common & it is accepted by a primary partner.
But in the 17th & 18th Centuries, happiness was introduced in the lives of humans. People started marrying to seek love rather than wealth & status. As they came to know that true emotions & love gives you more happiness. They started marrying for the sake of love & continued their monogamous marriages. Marriage was considered to be based on a fragile emotion. “If love could grow out of it that is excellent”.
Hence, monogamous relations became prevalent when compared with polyamorous.
Some scientific facts or study to know whether men or women like to be monogamous or polyamorous
As the societies became patriarchal the polyamorous behavior has emerged more in men & monogamous behavior more in women. Some studies show that males are more sexually driven than women who are more emotionally inclined and hence, polyamory is found more in men than women.
How to build a successful monogamous relationship?
Someone asked whether a polyamorous person can be in a monogamous relationship?
The answer is yes. The polyamorous partner can become a monogamous.
Sacrifice creates trust and bonds between partners. This can make your relation stronger. Communication between partners is also an important aspect of making a relationship stronger. Sharing your desires & fantasies and making them realistic. Also, ask your partner about their likes & dislikes. Putting energy & creativity into your sex life. All these things will help you to strengthen your bond and can turn a polygamous relationship into a monogamous one.
Practicing Safe Sex
Practicing safe sex is very important in either cases, whether your relationship is monogamous or polyamorous. Safe sex keeps you healthy and improves further sex life. Safe sex protects yourself & your partner from getting STIs.
There are many contraceptives used for the prevention of unwanted pregnancies but the only safer way to avoid the spread of STIs is the use of a condom. Both male & female condoms prevent the spread of STIs and also prevent unwanted pregnancies. The other contraceptive methods such as pills, patch, IUDs, etc does not help to prevent STIs.
In monogamous relationships, couples often stop using condoms for the sake of intimacy. But if a partner starts cheating then STI can become a demon. In polyamorous relations, a partner must use a condom.
The article is created by Cupid Limited for public awareness.
